What do I say?

And wouldn’t you just know it…CCRM has turned down my surrogate. The reasons were ridiculous (seriously). She has been a surrogate for one couple (one singleton and twins) as well as having given birth to her own children – five pregnancies total. This will be her last one. The twins (last year) were born close to 32 weeks. Her cervix was high, nothing wrong, her water just broke. The babies were in the NICU for like a week and half. Her first was a singleton – born on time or maybe a little late? They didn’t remove all of the placenta (the doctor) and so she had a bleed at 10 weeks after which required some blood. Those were the reasons that CCRM turned her down. Well guess the F what? She is my only option. For so many reasons. It has taken me A LOT to come to this conclusion. I struggled with it like you cannot believe and then just let my heart follow – and it led me to her. She has been an FB friend for awhile now. Friend of a fellow IFer. It is such a small world and seems like everyone knows someone who knows someone. Heck, one of my best IF buddiies is Carolyn Savage (if you haven’t read Inconceivable, it is a great book) – we are all in this together somehow.

So this latest news has been a real kick in my ass. I’m of course fighting it. I told the nurse who works on the surrogacy side of things that I wanted to do a dual transfer. One to me and one to her and she told me “he would never allow that”…I asked, “why”..he said, “well how can you be in both places, how will you take care of one child and go to get the other child”. Hmm…I have a car, a husband and I own a darned preschool – if you don’t think I have child care resources, you are nutty! So this is the thing – they are completely willing to let them transfer 2 to me knowing full well that I will likely miscarry one if not both but they won’t consider letting me transfer one to her and one to me – making it easier for both of us to carry one. Nope. They won’t do it.

So I am going to have one more conversation with Dr. Schoolcraft and then plan to haul my little behind out to Colorado and grab those embryos and bring them back to ATL where they will let me do what I damned well want to. I mean, come on.

Why is everything such a saga? and so we continue….flustered, annoyed and yet still determined.


4 thoughts on “What do I say?

  1. so sorry you’re running into such difficulties. FWIW, when i talked surrogacy with Schl., he specifically said i could transfer to myself and a surrogate simultaneously. so the nurse doesn’t know what she’s talking about (unless he’s changed his thinking on this recently). go to him directly and i think you’ll get a different answer. moot point probably, if they rejected your surrogate. i’m so so sorry about that. what a blow.


  2. Wow, Did he say that?? You know, the nurse almost seemed happy to tell me that he had rejected her. She said dual transfers are out of the question….you are an angel! Of course I need to speak to him. I think he rejected her for a double embryo transfer but surely he would let us both transfer?!? I’m going to try to get to him this week.

    And huge congrats on your news! I just read your blog before the comment (a few hours ago) and your news gave me a tinge of hope. I hope you enjoy it a bit. I know how nervous you must be feeling but I remember being at this stage with DS and my re telling me that the odds were 95% in my favor. Determination always wins!!!

    Your comment lifted my spirits…as did your news!!

  3. That is ridiculous! Yes, talk to him directly, he’s always said yes to all my requests even if he didn’t agree to them, and if he says no for any reason, there’s a million other clinics that would do a transfer, it sounds like a pretty good proven surrogate. GL!!

  4. You never cease to amaze me! Xoxo You know my opinion in this, but it’s a hurdle that WILL be tackled no matter what ❤

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