Vials and vials and vials of blood…..and nothing where I need it

I’ve been to every doctor in Atlanta now. It is official. My doctors in NYC are also playing a part – faxing records, making recommendations. Today I saw a doctor who will, at the behest of my regular doctor, prescribe IVig so that my body calms down and does not attack the fetus (and her brother). I’m also about to induce the period with progresterone. Everything is getting ready including me. Not even interested in wine so I know it is time. It is really time. It won’t be before the end of February but likely March. The doctor I saw was very nice…same old questions. How many miscarriages (holds back tears), where did you have miscarriage #4 (holds back tears), but why did you put back a chromosomal abnormal (tells doctor he misunderstands and then the tears start and…..that was enough to make him stop drilling me for questions about children dying inside of me). I don’t cry normally about it except when I get asked or when I see photos of the child who is my cousin’s born 2 weeks late on my due date. That is hard to think that my body rejected a perfectly normal female…a daughter. I can write about it and I’m fine just don’t ask me about it in the glare of florescent lighting…yeah and why don’t doctor’s in this city have halogen…..GOD I MISS NYC. Sigh.

I’m exhausted though, truly. My preschool is growing a little faster than anticipated but that only allows me to hire some people that I wouldn’t have been able to hire previously. We seem to have reach a great stride but, as with anything related to children, every day is a different one. We had a little troll action on the internet which was amusing (especially since they don’t know I’ve been through this before and know how to maneuver the system). I made sure to get a subpoena filing in action for future reference – dumb that they don’t know IP addresses lead you straight to the person. Straight to their computer. Libel and slander are serious things when you have a business. They wrote idiotic things about me, the teachers and our curriculum (which made me laugh, truthfully but I’m going to treat it seriously). I’ll be interested when I get the names back of the offenders. Some of our parents were so wonderful, they all offered to write reviews and get involved (and some did) but I still think that is a waste of time. I have a few aces in the hole when I need them – enough said.

My husband has an interview (thanks to his college roommate and my son’s godfather – he was one of the people in the UK who had a huge hand in created TARP – or “the bailout”. So the reference is about as good as you can get,). So who knows where life will take us but I know one thing – the school has changed so much for me that I cannot imagine ever not being here. Commuting to NYC? Hmmmm.

So we are in the last stretch of the FET process and if things don’t go my way with the testing, it will be surrogate time. I’m not going to lose genetically perfect embryos just because my body likes to kill everything that enters it.

Next week the OB. Same one who saw me for the internal bleeding at Piedmont. Truth said, I’m going back to NYC if I do get pregnant. I cannot imagine not going to Janice Marks.

Better cross that bridge when I come to it or there will be random tears. For now, I’m holding on to hope.

No sign of…you know what

I swear, since the last IVF and the punctured ovary that would not stop bleeding, my cycles are all over the place. Call it perimenopause. I call it FOUL PLAY!

Dang – after being every 30 days BAM!!!! I am left wondering where in the hell good old Aunt Flo or whatever you happen to call your period. This makes me most uncomfortable. Especially after I told my young son that I was never going to die, yesterday. Well, he is obsessed with death. He made his father give up smoking. Today is the last day and husband is making a huge deal of his last day as a smoker. He gets to play golf, open a special bottle of something insanely expensive and then make love to his boxes of cigarettes because apparently LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. Rolling my eyes. I’ve been through the big ceremony a few times, you see. I’m a hair bit over it.

I digress. The lack of period is likely my left ovary shrinking into nothing after having been stabbed the wrong way around IVF #5. Who knows. Poor thing. I just worry that it might be what I dread most – ovarian cancer. Sure they say there is no link between IVF and cancer but I am not believing any study sponsored by a group representing a billion dollar operation. Thanks, but no.

Starting off right. Talking about my uterus! I’d determined, however, to post more than 8 times this year. I think this year I might even post every day just to tell you what I’m up to. Even just a little fly by wave. Since there are so many people coming here (boeings full of people) I have to perform.

The news of the day is that I am on my first cup of coffee (which will be my last) and had a cup of tea and a PB and J sandwich WITH my prenatals, aspirin and B vitamins. Blessed be the lord for the person who created the pill a day pouch. Now I can know what day it is and also that I have definitely taken my vitamins.

Oh and my preschool is about to get the greatest gift ever – but I’ll save that for next post.
Tonight I’m taking my teachers out to dinner and some of them are going to be very, very happy. I’m about to give them something special….and then my mom arrives on Tuesday so they will at least love me for a few days.

Oh and this week I’m going to get me some IVIG. How to fund, how to fund….ah, I have an idea for that too. More on that in a red hot minute. Hasta manana!

2010 in review – Oooooh! You love me despite me neglecting you this year! Xo

The stats helper monkeys at mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Fresher than ever.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A helper monkey made this abstract painting, inspired by your stats.

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 5,100 times in 2010. That’s about 12 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 8 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 99 posts. There were 4 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 893kb.

The busiest day of the year was December 9th with 70 views. The most popular post that day was Consult with Dr. Schoolcraft..

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were,,,, and

Some visitors came searching, mostly for dr schoolcraft, dr. schoolcraft, schoolcraft ivf, saizen ivf, and way too much information ivf blog.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.


Consult with Dr. Schoolcraft. November 2008


Back…IVF #9 with CGH Microarray (part 2) December 2009


About October 2008


am i ok? my boobs won’t stop growing? November 2008


What am I doing? January 2009