11 dpo

I’m 11 days past ovulation now.  Normally I would pee on another stick….but I can’t do it.  Never in my entire life of peeing on sticks have I had good news.  Never, ever.  Even when I was pregnant with my son – the tests kept getting lighter and lighter.  That, of course, is when I break out a bottle of wine (and not to share).  So I’ll actually wait for my beta (blood test) and find out the number.  Then I will have to go get another blood test 2 days later – and then 2 days later, repeat.

Normally what happens is that my levels start to go down and then they tell me to stop all medication….a chemical pregnancy.

Even if I didn’t have a chemical pregnancy – even if I did actually see a heartbeat – the stress doesn’t end there.  I’m 40 years old.  The miscarriage rate is…I think around 40%.  So I’m looking at another 10 weeks of worrying and wondering.  And then you have the testing….which is the biggest nail biter of all.

So – I’m looking at approximately 20 weeks of worry here – I might as well just try to ignore it and live my life.  I will tell you this though – I feel very ill (like I might have to vomit) so….that is good sign.

I’m off the march against proposition 8 this afternoon so I’ll post some photos when I get back.

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A little message to the Supporters of California’s Proposition 8

You should be ashamed of yourself.  Get off my blog.  Shoo!  Go away.

Go sit yourself in the naughty corner and think long and hard.  You want to tell others who they can and can’t love?  Who they can and can’t marry?  Who they can and can’t be?

Y’all make me sick.

We’re going to march this Saturday – this proposition won’t stick.  Soon there will be an amendment to the constitution that will declare it illegal to discriminate against gays/lesbians/transgenders on the basis of their sexual orientation.  You watch.

Apologies…I’ve been a little preoccupied

Sorry for the delay – after all the excitement (and I mean excitement!!) of November 4th I’ve been feeling exhausted and a bit muted.

Where was I?  Oh – November 4th, 2008 – election day and insemination #2.

The morning started out horribly – basically a disaster.  We’d arranged for C to take his sperm to the clinic at 7:30am to be washed and I was to show up at 9:30am for insemination.  At 7:50am C told me that the task was impossible….there was no way he would be able to produce another vat of semen.  He tried and failed.  I started to google “life span of washed sperm” and the results were confusing – it seemed that 24 hours was the maximum …and I was due to ovulate SOMETIME that day – if we didnt’ have another batch to greet these eggs on ovulation – the entire cycle might be a bust.  I started to get a bit hysterical but caught myself.  Poor C did not need the added pressure…and so I told him to go to work, get a few things done and return around 10 to try again.  In the meantime I prepared myself to vote.  Lines were long in Atlanta and I didn’t want to get stuck in a five hour wait.  My friend Amy and I went together with Alex in tow.  As we voted, C returned and worked on getting a sample…

Voting was a great experience – never before have I been this excited about a candidate.  I worked hard to get Barack Obama elected – talking to just about everyone I met, haranguing our Republican handyman and all of my Republican friends..  I registered about 20 people to vote and worked on the phone banks (very not like me).  By November 4th I was ready for this election to be over.

When I returned to the house C informed me “I was able to get some sperm for you but it was very difficult – in fact, I think I’ve bruised myself” which made me laugh.

Two hours later I went to the clinic and was told that C’s specimen was over 80 million sperm – which is just amazing considering he had similar numbers the day before.  In they went….and now we wait.  I think I did ovulate later that day….on election day.  If this did work – what an amazing day to be conceived!

So far I don’t have many symptoms – which is natural you might say but every single time I have been pregnant I’ve felt certain things early on – from the day after conception.  I do feel like my uterus has something in it – a certain fullness…and my breasts are killing me but that could be the side affect of the progesterone.

Anyway – muted post but I’ll write more when I am less tired (hey, good sign!)…and tell you about my amazing election night party – and the break-in we had at the house this week (while C was away in California and I was alone with our son).

I’m still pissed off about Prop 8 and feel like it is time to get more involved in helping my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters in their struggle for equality.