Vials and vials and vials of blood…..and nothing where I need it

I’ve been to every doctor in Atlanta now. It is official. My doctors in NYC are also playing a part – faxing records, making recommendations. Today I saw a doctor who will, at the behest of my regular doctor, prescribe IVig so that my body calms down and does not attack the fetus (and her brother). I’m also about to induce the period with progresterone. Everything is getting ready including me. Not even interested in wine so I know it is time. It is really time. It won’t be before the end of February but likely March. The doctor I saw was very nice…same old questions. How many miscarriages (holds back tears), where did you have miscarriage #4 (holds back tears), but why did you put back a chromosomal abnormal (tells doctor he misunderstands and then the tears start and…..that was enough to make him stop drilling me for questions about children dying inside of me). I don’t cry normally about it except when I get asked or when I see photos of the child who is my cousin’s born 2 weeks late on my due date. That is hard to think that my body rejected a perfectly normal female…a daughter. I can write about it and I’m fine just don’t ask me about it in the glare of florescent lighting…yeah and why don’t doctor’s in this city have halogen…..GOD I MISS NYC. Sigh.

I’m exhausted though, truly. My preschool is growing a little faster than anticipated but that only allows me to hire some people that I wouldn’t have been able to hire previously. We seem to have reach a great stride but, as with anything related to children, every day is a different one. We had a little troll action on the internet which was amusing (especially since they don’t know I’ve been through this before and know how to maneuver the system). I made sure to get a subpoena filing in action for future reference – dumb that they don’t know IP addresses lead you straight to the person. Straight to their computer. Libel and slander are serious things when you have a business. They wrote idiotic things about me, the teachers and our curriculum (which made me laugh, truthfully but I’m going to treat it seriously). I’ll be interested when I get the names back of the offenders. Some of our parents were so wonderful, they all offered to write reviews and get involved (and some did) but I still think that is a waste of time. I have a few aces in the hole when I need them – enough said.

My husband has an interview (thanks to his college roommate and my son’s godfather – he was one of the people in the UK who had a huge hand in created TARP – or “the bailout”. So the reference is about as good as you can get,). So who knows where life will take us but I know one thing – the school has changed so much for me that I cannot imagine ever not being here. Commuting to NYC? Hmmmm.

So we are in the last stretch of the FET process and if things don’t go my way with the testing, it will be surrogate time. I’m not going to lose genetically perfect embryos just because my body likes to kill everything that enters it.

Next week the OB. Same one who saw me for the internal bleeding at Piedmont. Truth said, I’m going back to NYC if I do get pregnant. I cannot imagine not going to Janice Marks.

Better cross that bridge when I come to it or there will be random tears. For now, I’m holding on to hope.

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