What do I say?

And wouldn’t you just know it…CCRM has turned down my surrogate. The reasons were ridiculous (seriously). She has been a surrogate for one couple (one singleton and twins) as well as having given birth to her own children – five pregnancies total. This will be her last one. The twins (last year) were born close to 32 weeks. Her cervix was high, nothing wrong, her water just broke. The babies were in the NICU for like a week and half. Her first was a singleton – born on time or maybe a little late? They didn’t remove all of the placenta (the doctor) and so she had a bleed at 10 weeks after which required some blood. Those were the reasons that CCRM turned her down. Well guess the F what? She is my only option. For so many reasons. It has taken me A LOT to come to this conclusion. I struggled with it like you cannot believe and then just let my heart follow – and it led me to her. She has been an FB friend for awhile now. Friend of a fellow IFer. It is such a small world and seems like everyone knows someone who knows someone. Heck, one of my best IF buddiies is Carolyn Savage (if you haven’t read Inconceivable, it is a great book) – we are all in this together somehow.

So this latest news has been a real kick in my ass. I’m of course fighting it. I told the nurse who works on the surrogacy side of things that I wanted to do a dual transfer. One to me and one to her and she told me “he would never allow that”…I asked, “why”..he said, “well how can you be in both places, how will you take care of one child and go to get the other child”. Hmm…I have a car, a husband and I own a darned preschool – if you don’t think I have child care resources, you are nutty! So this is the thing – they are completely willing to let them transfer 2 to me knowing full well that I will likely miscarry one if not both but they won’t consider letting me transfer one to her and one to me – making it easier for both of us to carry one. Nope. They won’t do it.

So I am going to have one more conversation with Dr. Schoolcraft and then plan to haul my little behind out to Colorado and grab those embryos and bring them back to ATL where they will let me do what I damned well want to. I mean, come on.

Why is everything such a saga? and so we continue….flustered, annoyed and yet still determined.