Vivelle Dots.

What the f? Sorry. I’m just stumped. These are not dots. They are sheets of plastic with adhesive and estrogen. What is with the dots thing?

I have one on me. Assuming it is making its way into my bloodstream to get my pathetic lining to grow.

Yep, I nagged good old Dr. S to let me do a mock lining check locally. New doc (who I LOVE) will do a hysteroscopy and I don’t care if I spelled that wrong. It is late and I am so cranky. I digress, so we are going to check out the uterus, make sure there are no more traces of ashermans and that my ovaries look OK and that the lining is developing and then I am putting these embryos back in. I’m in the middle of a secret adventure and I want to share but I can’t – suffice it to say that it is really stressful. Combine that with the fact that my husband’s job fired him. FIRED! He is a Managing Director and they made things up. They actually fired him for poor performance when this guy brought in 12 million dollars last year. But they don’t really know what we have here. The kind of trouble they are about to get in for lying is just amazing. I wish I could elaborate but I can’t. Normally I would like to just walk away from this but not when they essentially prevent my husband from working in the industry he has worked in for 20 years. So, there will be justice. And it is going to be painful for them. The law was broken and we have some proof. Oh do I wish I could just write it all out! But suffice it to say that when I am involved, I make sure that we cross every T and dot every i because I saw this coming.

So my little adventure has to keep us alive.

I’m scared but I know, I truly know that we will succeed.

One day at a time.

Get me through the transfer, let there be another baby and who cares about the rest. The world will open up and we will be happy again. It has been so long. Wow, I’m excited thinking about happy and us in the same sentence.

I do love my family so very much….now I just want to give my son his sibling. It is time.


Green. Too green for me but let’s push the comfort zone

It is just a design but I don’t like it. I’m forcing myself to keep it up. Who knows why but you know what? I love the snow feature.

Living in Georgia means I get very little snow and when we do, these folks act like the world is coming to a fast end. 3 inches and all milk and bread and canned grits get SOLD out at Krogers across the city. I roll my eyes as the child who grew up near Buffalo, NY. 7 feet? Now, I’ve seen that and it was FANTASTIC. Even then I think the stores stayed open and everyone just reveled in a snow day.

Give me snow anytime but for now, it is on this little website. The green one.

I put my wedding photo for a change – a very happy day. I had just had a huge amount of eco friendly (don’t need trouble from you environmentalists so we’ll stop that at the pass) confetti essentially poured over my head. It was cute. I laughed and thought….hmmmmm. Being ecofriendly just ruined my hair and put crazy flecks all over my gorgeous deep, dark roses.

This is sort of a non post because I have zero to complain about (so far but hey, it is early).

I’m going out to spend some money today – home depot and best buy. Pine straw and a present for my lovely husband who brought me breakfast in bed. At the rate he is going I might have to put out.

Non babymaking sex is just hard to imagine – what is all that about?

To jinx or not to jinx

I’m going to jinx myself.  I’m feeling sick.  A mild nausea that has been lingering since yesterday afternoon.

And the dreams.  Everytime I’ve been pregnant in the past I’ve had insane dreams involving…well….people having sex!  I had one last night – I walked into a russian bath and there were all these people looking like they might be having sex soon – so I left (wisely) but not before admiring the tile on the bathroom wall.  It was gorgeous!!!

Today is 9 days past ovulation so…I could test tomorrow but I think I will wait until Sunday just to be sure.

Back to the present…

Two weeks ago I failed IVF #6.  It was a bit of a surprise for me but I’ll save that for another post.  Today I am day 8 of an IUI cycle (intrauterine insemination).  Normally I take a very high level of medication to stimulate my ovaries.  I’ve never been on any other protocol…so this time I decided to ask my RE to lower my dosage in half to see how I might respond.  So far it hasn’t been that bad.  I’m on stim day 6 (have not taken the meds yet) and I have four measurable follicles.  In fact, I’m quite pleased with this result.  At the end of this cycle (Friday or Saturday) I’ll get a trigger shot and C’s sperm will be injected – two times, a few hours before I ovulate and then again the next day.  Given our low rate of fertilization I don’t have high hopes but…you never know!  It is all about hope and I’m trying to muster some up.  In the meantime I am interviewing every IVF clinic in the Atlanta area.  So far I’ve learned one thing – I’m my own advocate.  Seems like the more you know the more you realize that this is just a crap shoot…you need to be on the right protocol of medications, have your body respond to those medications, have the Gods of fertilization on your side, a good thick lining and an normal embryo to implant in your uterus and continue to grow.  It really does surprise me, given all the factors involved, that pregnancy ever happens at all…and yet most of the world doesn’t need all this – they just have sex.  Remarkable!

If this cycle doesn’t work I’ll be having surgery in December to remove a polyp in my uterus..and then beginning IVF again in January.

Search words

I seem to be getting a lot of traffic from the search words “sex” and “porn”.  Sorry to disappoint you – this is a sex free blog, I’m afraid.  If you came here looking for “hot nut sucking action” (as my friend Dibs used to call it) – your search is far from over.

There will be much talk of catheters, speculums, vaginas, semen and the like so if that is your gig – stop back!