and

100 people a day read this thing? Really? I feel the need to step up the entertainment factor. You actually come here to watch me (read me?) moan and whine…..thank you. Thank you, internet for caring….

You know that letter I got from my 65 year old self? Funny but I’ve also been thinking about where I want to be when I am 65 and more importantly WHO I want to be. I’ve done the dream thing (more on that some other day- I was a career songwriter and a singer for a time) and I’ve done the career thing (I was an officer – er quasi officer at a major investment bank) and now I am a mother. I truly love being a stay at home mom and I have no desires or aspirations right now to be anything else. But I wonder – what will my son think? Will he understand that I am not a lazy person…I am not an uninspired person. Society puts so much value on having a “career” and to be honest, I just don’t buy it. I feel like I’ve done all that I wanted to do so far. The only thing that had been missing is motherhood. Now that I am a mother I am focused on not only being a great mother but also being a mother again. But what happens the day the last one goes to college? Who am I then?

What I would like to be at the age of 65 is a fortune teller/writer/tile maker and live in a adobe hut in Sedona, Arizona. My husband thinks I’m nuts.

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One thought on “and

  1. This really struck me Suzanne.. I feel the same way.. Well maybe not about the fortune teller/tile maker bit 😉 I haven’t been following your blog regularly till now.. and I wanted to be sure you know how very sorry I am for all you’ve been through. It just plain sucks.

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