I’m 11 days past ovulation now. Normally I would pee on another stick….but I can’t do it. Never in my entire life of peeing on sticks have I had good news. Never, ever. Even when I was pregnant with my son – the tests kept getting lighter and lighter. That, of course, is when I break out a bottle of wine (and not to share). So I’ll actually wait for my beta (blood test) and find out the number. Then I will have to go get another blood test 2 days later – and then 2 days later, repeat.
Normally what happens is that my levels start to go down and then they tell me to stop all medication….a chemical pregnancy.
Even if I didn’t have a chemical pregnancy – even if I did actually see a heartbeat – the stress doesn’t end there. I’m 40 years old. The miscarriage rate is…I think around 40%. So I’m looking at another 10 weeks of worrying and wondering. And then you have the testing….which is the biggest nail biter of all.
So – I’m looking at approximately 20 weeks of worry here – I might as well just try to ignore it and live my life. I will tell you this though – I feel very ill (like I might have to vomit) so….that is good sign.
I’m off the march against proposition 8 this afternoon so I’ll post some photos when I get back.