IVF may have ruined my life

Yeah that was dramatic. I meant it though. Let’s back track a bit…hello! I’ve missed you all and hope you had a happy thanksgiving. Now that those pleasantries are out of the way, let’s get to the subject.

I had one of those “hit me on the side of the head with a brick moments” and I’m still trying to get up and right myself.

I don’t see the happy things anymore. I wait for the bad things to happen because THAT is what has always been despite my success. I worry. The level of worry is concerning. I worry about how much I worry. It wasn’t always like this.  IVF is a big part of the beginning of the downward spiral. Well, infertility…  It creates this hazy, negative hue that you can’t see past. Even though I have had success, it has clouded that too. I am crazy enough to start a preschool for my kid when I couldn’t find one “good enough” – who does that? The CRAZY person.

I’ve realized that inviting worry and crazy into your mind creates an environment of crazy and worrying things to enter you life.

What am I talking about? Oh just you wait.  Need I say more than it is time for an attitude adjustment? But wait for it…my current worry is cancer from all the IVF treatments and that my son will be brought up by a step mother.

Oi vey – what you focus on becomes you reality. How to I escape the thoughts? There is more but I just gave myself a migraine.

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